Since Friday, I have cried many times over.

During those moments that I get involved in what I am doing, and I momentarily do not think of this, I cry all over again silently, sad and even feeling maybe a little guilty that I am living my life – the same as every day, going to work, getting breakfast, lunch, dinner ready, shuttling kids to classes.

I have hugged my little ones many times over since Friday and chose not to discuss the events with them over the weekend. We spent the weekend looking at photos and videos of the kids from when they were born and enjoyed that quality time.

Today, as I picked them and brought them home, my little girl mentioned the incident which was discussed in their class – very briefly. I responded as briefly as possible too. Her older brother (whose class did not discuss this) then reminded her of the Code Blue we had had last year because of shootings at Permanente Quarry. They both recalled how the school staff helped and how they were on lockdown till it was declared safe for them with police patrolling the area for security. That did make me feel a little safer, and I told them the same – that school is a safe place, that they all know what to do when needed.

Thank you, teachers, for being such wonderful people and helping our kids every day and for just being their teacher.

As I still continue to tear up with every new update on the tragic events of last Friday, and cannot stop asking ‘Why?’, in the midst of all this, I see a glimmer of hope – when I read the stories of heroism, when I see the outpouring of support to the Newtown community from around the world, when I see whole communities standing up for what needs to be done to set this right (one example is the number of signatures on this petition since Friday), when I heard the President’s speech at Newtown – all these gave me hope.

A hope for all of us – as a global community, as humanity.

I wish I could do more – to reach out in some way, to let them know we care. And I realize there are many ways I can do that. By a prayer, by being a better person each day, by a smile, by standing up for what is right.

One way to reach out – The Newtown Patch has a list of ways you can help.
You can also donate to The Newtown Youth and Family Services here.
Blogger Kiran at Masala Chica is participating in a movement to perform 26 acts of kindness to honor each of the victims from Sandy Hook Elementary that day. I plan to as well.

Tomorrow, Dec 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We will post this button below and
that’s it. Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.